We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the Phone Company.

Just last week Imus was congratulating WABC and RFD Engineering for the fantastic job they are doing broadcasting from the Ranch. Well of course gremlins came rushing to the scene, fouling the broadcast! Imus rescheduled guests – but the show must go on. Imus continued in improvisation mode along with Charles and Bernie, riding Lou hard to the end. Oh yeah, Rob Karith and Tony jumped in as well.

The problem was isolated to a telephone connection. Here’s pretty much how the call went as the phone company relegated IITM to 7th position in the maintenance queue..

Ernestine: A gracious hello. Here at the Phone Company, we handle eighty-four billion calls a year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth. So, we realize that, every so often, you can’t get an operator, or for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order, or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn’t make. We don’t care!

Watch this… [ she hits buttons maniacally ] We just lost Ribera.

You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated — [ she hits buttons with her elbows ] even we can’t handle it. But that’s your problem, isn’t it? So, the next time you complain about your phone service why don’t you try using two Dixie cups with a string? We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the Phone Company.

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