Matt Taibbi doesn’t like the Iraq War. In fact, Taibbi, doesn’t like wars in general. Who does? Problem is, Taibbi doesn’t understand them either. In his article for Rolling Stone Magazine (March 6, 2008 Issue 1047), “McCain Resurrected”, Taibbi writes, among other things:
Back in the summer, when McCain boldly launched a “No Surrender” tour while all the other GOP candidates were fleeing the war issue like bitches, reporters thought the old man had finally gone senile.
But McCain’s entire career has been dedicated to the idea that America must always have the right to solve its problems by force.
McCain sees war as a way of life. To him it is necessary and intrinsically “noble” a tonic for the national soul.
No matter how moderate McCain seems on domestic issues, on the issue of war he’s stark raving mad. He’s a wounded, crusading Ahab, and civilian command and diplomatic restraint are his Great White Whale.
What did I get out of Matt Taibbi’s latest article on John McCain? Aside from his belief that McCain is a warmonger, I also get the impression by how many times he brings up the GOP, that he thinks hawkish Presidential behavior is solely a Republican trait. What about Kosovo, Bosnia, and cruise missiles into Sudan and Afghanistan two days after Monica Lewinsky’s second visit to the grand jury, just in time to change the subject on the Sunday morning shows? Now there’s the kind of military policy Matt Taibbi can get behind, and I do mean “get behind.”
Don’t get me wrong: I have no problems with Bill Clinton’s military stance during his 2 administrations. Hell, I believe the military was just hoping by Bill’s second term that his aim would improve. President Bill Clinton may be a Democrat but he is no Dove. When we started our Kosovo military campaign under President Bill Clinton, we got a lot of flack from the UN, the French (naturally) and even China.
Why did Bill Clinton lean forward militarily during his Presidency? I believe he wanted to stop wholesale genocide. He probably also remembered the history: World Wars have a tendency to start in Eastern Europe.
John McCain is also leaning forward in the face of today’s threats. Why? Well there was also brutal genocide that went on inside of Iraq during Saddam Hussein’s regime, the Anfal campaign to exterminate the Kurds. In fact they just sentenced one of the perpetrators to hang, the so-called Chemical Ali. The UN didn’t get out in front of that genocide either. Oh, and then something about a strategic response to religious nuts that want to nuke the U.S.A. no matter what we do. Is Matt Taibbi guilty of selectively assigning warmonger status? I don’t know. You need to read his article and judge for yourself.
But that’s not the only problem Matt Taibbi has with John Sidney McCain. Taibbi also has a problem with John McCain’s age.
That’s right. Matt thinks John McCain is way too old to be running for the office of the Presidency of the U.S.A. How old is John McCain? Well who the hell cares? According to Matt he is an old geezer and has a tendency–like old people do–to repeat things, like his campaign stump speeches. I bet if you asked, Matt could tell you John McCain’s age down to the year, month, day and minute. I bet he could tell you John McCain’s age in dog years, or using one of those ancient Chinese mathematical instruments called the abacus. He might even tell you the abacus was invented the same year John McCain was born.
Why does Matt Taibbi have a problem with John McCain’s age? I have thought long and intermittently on this old age fixation. I think Matt might suffer from a young man’s condition, a sort of “Eskimo Syndrome.”
You know the old Eskimo legend, where the Eskimos would leave their elderly out on the ice to die because they became a burden to the tribe? This isn’t really true, of course. The truth is that the Eskimo culture is rich in oral history, and the elders are the keepers of communal knowledge. They don’t really set them out on an ice floe. The Eskimos also had a 100 different words for snow, right? No, not really, that is an urban myth too and the real number tops out around a dozen.
They really aren’t Eskimos either. They are Inuits, according to some. Turns out the Eskimos are a tribe south of the Inuit, and they are called Eskimos because they eat their meat raw. Well okay, maybe that’s not true either, but it’s offensive anyway, sushi notwithstanding. With this in mind, and witnessing Matt Taibbi go all Eskimo on John McCain’s posterior, it has to be raw by now.
I think Mr. Taibbi would do well to spend some time with Dr. Phil during his next appearance on Imus in the Morning. Plainly he has issues as a young man, and wants the old man off the stage and floating downriver. How badly, I don’t know. But for God’s sake, Senator McCain, stay out of the Snow Belt and if you see Matt Taibbi, duck! He is trying to harpoon you. Who’s Ahab now, Matt?
If John McCain’s extended stay at the Hanoi Hilton couldn’t bring him down, what chance does a Dove with a raw vocabulary and a geriatric fixation have?
Hey Matt, how do you say “Snowball’s Chance in Hell” in Eskimo?